Built by someone who’s been in the thick of it

I have been my mother’s daily caregiver since a hemorrhagic stroke took the use of her left side. The work has not gotten lighter with practice; it has only become familiar.

In November 2023, my older brother Gary was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at 61. For the next eight months I cared for him while still showing up for our mom every day. I watched him go from a chubby older brother to almost a skeleton, faster than I could prepare for. Near the end, when he could barely move, he used what energy he had left to walk over and hug our mother. He died in July 2024.

What I wish someone had told me is that the hardest part of caregiving is not any single decision. It is the newness of every decision arriving at once, while the rest of your life refuses to pause. I knew help existed. What I did not know was how much of it I had never thought to ask for.

I built BeTended to share what I have learned, and to keep learning from the caregivers who read it.

Outside of caregiving, I build operational systems and AI workflows for growing businesses, and BeTended is that same instinct turned toward the people coming behind me. Every article here is reviewed against our Editorial Policy before it goes live, and every claim is sourced. When I get something wrong, I want to know.