How to Find Respite Care Even If You Can’t Afford It

Respite care is any arrangement that gives you, the caregiver, time off. Someone else (a paid professional, a family member, a volunteer) cares for your parent while you step away, rest, and be a person for a while.

Most caregivers know they need this. Most caregivers wait too long to arrange it.

The common objections: “It’s too expensive.” “My parent won’t accept it.” “I don’t even know where to start.” All of these are real, and all of them have workarounds. Let’s go through them.

What Counts as Respite?

Respite is a broad category. It includes:

In-home respite: A care worker comes to your home (or your parent’s home) for a few hours or days, allowing you to leave.

Adult day programs: Your parent attends a structured program during the day (activities, socialization, meals, sometimes medical monitoring) while you have time to work, rest, or handle other things. Often significantly less expensive than in-home care.

Short-term residential respite: Your parent stays at a care facility for a few days or a couple of weeks while you take a real break. Some assisted living communities and nursing homes offer this.

In-home volunteer respite: Volunteers (often through nonprofit programs) come sit with your parent for a few hours so you can step out.

Family or friend coverage: Another family member takes over for a period.

Any of these count. The goal is the same: you get a break.

Free and Low-Cost Respite Options

Your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) This is your first call. Many AAAs administer respite programs, sometimes directly, sometimes through partner organizations. Services range from a few free hours per week to subsidized adult day programs. The Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) will connect you to your local AAA.

National Respite Locator The ARCH National Respite Network maintains a respite locator at archrespite.org. Enter your zip code to find local options.

PACE Programs The Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly provides full-day care including medical care, meals, and activities. It’s available to Medicaid-eligible adults who are nursing-home level of care but want to stay in the community. If your parent qualifies, it can dramatically reduce your caregiving load.

Medicaid Waiver Programs Most states have Medicaid waiver programs that fund home and community-based services, including respite care, for eligible adults. Eligibility is income and needs-based. Contact your state’s Medicaid office or your local AAA for specifics. See our full guide on what Medicaid covers for more detail. There’s also other financial help for family caregivers through programs most people don’t know about.

Veterans Affairs Caregiver Programs If your parent is a veteran, the VA has significant caregiver support, including:

• The PCAFC (VA Family Caregiver Assistance Program), which provides a monthly stipend, healthcare coverage, and respite care for caregivers of eligible veterans
• Adult Day Health Care through the VA
• Home-based primary care that can reduce your caregiving load

Call your local VA or 1-855-260-3274 (VA Caregiver Support Line).

Nonprofit and faith-based programs Some hospitals, hospice organizations, religious communities, and nonprofits offer volunteer respite programs. Ask at your parent’s doctor’s office, local hospital social worker, or faith community.

Paid Respite Options

If you’re paying out of pocket, costs vary widely by type and region:

Adult day programs: According to the Genworth/CareScout 2024 Cost of Care Survey, the national median is around $100/day; subsidized or Medicaid-funded programs can be significantly less. Many are excellent. Don’t dismiss this option.

In-home care agencies: $30–45/hour depending on region and care level, per the Genworth/CareScout 2024 Cost of Care Survey. Non-medical home care (help with daily activities) costs less than medical home care.

Independent caregivers: Often less expensive than agencies, but you handle hiring, background checks, taxes, and backup coverage yourself.

Long-term care insurance: If your parent has a policy, it may cover respite care. Read the policy carefully and call the insurance company to understand what’s covered.

When Your Parent Resists Respite Care

“I don’t need a stranger in my house.” “I don’t want to go to a day program.” “I’ll only let you take care of me.”

This is common and it’s hard. A few approaches:

Frame it as a trial. “Let’s try this person once and see how it goes” is easier to agree to than a permanent arrangement.

Make it about your needs, not their limitations. “I need a few hours to take care of some things” is less threatening than “you need help.”

Find the right fit. If they had a negative experience with one care worker, it doesn’t mean all care workers are wrong. Keep looking until you find someone your parent genuinely likes.

Involve their doctor. A recommendation from the doctor often carries weight that you can’t.

Some resistance is about fear. Having a stranger in the home can feel like losing independence, like a preview of more loss to come. Name the fear with compassion: “I know this feels different. I’m not going anywhere. I just need a little help too.”

Not every parent will accept respite care easily. But many who initially resisted end up liking it, especially adult day programs, where they’re around other people their age and actually have something to do.

Scheduling Respite Before You Need It Desperately

Here’s the mistake most caregivers make: waiting until they’re in crisis to arrange respite. By then, they’re too depleted to work through the logistics, and the urgency makes everything harder.

Ideally, you build respite into the caregiving schedule before you hit the wall. Even two hours a week is something. Even monthly overnight coverage is something. If you haven’t already, take the caregiver burnout self-assessment to get an honest read on where you are right now.

Think about what you need:

• A few hours per week to handle your own life?
• A full day off each week?
• An occasional overnight so you can sleep?
• A longer break a few times per year?

Then work backwards: what arrangement would provide that? Start making calls.

A Note on What Respite Is Actually For

Respite is not for errands. I mean, yes, you can use respite time to run errands. But the goal is rest. Recovery. Being a person outside of caregiving.

Whatever restores you, sleep, a long walk, dinner with a friend, an afternoon alone in a quiet house, a weekend trip, that’s what respite is for. Not catching up on the other things on your list.

Schedule it. Protect it. Use it.

Next step: Read our guide on Mental Health Resources for Caregivers to find professional support for the emotional weight of caregiving.